


Imagine Kim Junmyeon

by orphan_account



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Humor, I Tried, junma - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-10 07:49:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Suho's anecdotes of being exo's single mom</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drunk Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Junmyeon drunk. He would stagger into his room and collapse on his bed into a fetal position.
> 
> When asked what’s up with him, Junmyeon would mumble. A feel of the audible words include “fluffy vitamin friends”, “kids stop fighting” and “sehun are you home yet”.

"Where's Junmyeon?" Yixing asked quietly, looking up from his phone. "It's so late."  
        "I think Junma's home," Jongdae said from the couch. "He came in wobbly and went to his room. Probably drunk and crying over his ex-husband."  
        Jongdae, that's not nice," Yixing chided, being the kind-hearted cinnamon bun he was. "I'll go check on him."  
        "You do that." Jongdae didn't even bother looking up as he continued his attempt to glue poker cards into a house.  
        Yixing stood up and crept to Junmyeon's room. The door was ajar, whimpering came from within. He rapped his knuckles against the door frame. "Junmyeon, can I come in?"  
        "Yuh huh..."  
        Yixing padded to Junmyeon's bedside and sat at the foot of the bed. "Junmyeon, did you go out and get drunk  _again?_ " Junmyeon said nothing, only fidgeted in his curled up form. "Ma, you know that's dangerous. Out by yourself, and drunk. What if someone tried to rob you? That's possible. Besides, heavy drinking is bad for your body." Yixing looked down at the leader. A sealed bottle of beer was cradled in his arms. Yixing frowned. "I'll be taking that." He eased the bottle away.  
        Junmyeon whined. "Kids..." he mumbled. "Stop fighting..."  
        "We're not fighting, Ma," Yixing assured him.  
        Outside, something crashed. Baekhyun screamed. Jongdae laughed.  
        "Okay, maybe a little." Yixing shrugged. "Junmyeon, you've been going out twice a week to drink for the past two months. You have to stop."  
        "Yeah, Ma," from the door, Jongdae chimed in. "You gotta stop coming back drunk. What are we gonna do if someone robs you of all your money?"  
        "Jongdae!" Yixing scolded. "Not the time!"  
        "Sorry." He turned around to poke his head into the living room. "I better...get that glue off the Baekbooty. He sat on my house of cards."  
        "The what now?" Yixing asked.  
        "Nothing, nothing. Chill, Laynicorn." Jongdae flashed a grin that melted just as quickly as it came. " _NO_ , Baek!  _Don't_  sit—ah, shit. Okay, okay." Jongdae scampered off.  
        Yixing sighed.  
        "Sehun," Junmyeon moaned, "are you home yet?"  
        "He's home, Junmyeon," Yixing cooed. "He's in the kitchen, don't worry."  
        "Someone call for me?" Sehun appeared at the door, his silhouette framed in the doorway.  
        "Oh, no, it's just Junmyeon was—" Yixing stopped short when he felt Junmyeon starting to writhe. "Junmyeon?"  
        Junmyeon moaned and whimpered. "Yifan...harder..."  
        Yixing's eyes widened to the size of moons and he shot to his feet and backed up to Sehun, who was doubled over with laughter, hooting and howling.  
        "Maybe, ah," Yixing gulped, "we should just leave him alone for now."  
        "What is it?" Jongdae rushed over. "What? What did I miss?"  
        Sehun was now choking on his own saliva. "'Yifan...harder'. Oh, gods...!"  
        "Ew." Jongdae screwed up his face. "I did  _not_  need to hear that. Bye."  
        "I'll go...dispose of this." Yixing held up the bottle of beer. "I don't suppose one of you would want it."  
        "Ooh, me!" Jongdae raised his hand.  
        "No." Yixing gripped the bottle tight and sauntered off.  
        "Aw, man..."  
        "JONGDAE, come get me unstuck from the sofa!" Baekhyun screeched.  
        "Aight, aight, I'm coming. And it's a couch, you dumbass."  
  
When Junmyeon woke, he was certain someone was pounding on his head with a hammer, and someone had replaced his tongue with sandpaper, and someone had set his throat on fire, and a million other things that made him 200% sure he was hungover.  
        He sat up and smacked his lips. No taste of vomit...that was a first. He groggily made his way to the bathroom to wash up, then dragged himself from his room.  
        As expected, the Beagle Line was rolling around on the living room floor. Yixing was by the window, reading. Sehun was sprawled on the back of the couch.  
        "Morning, Junmyeon," Yixing said, smiling. "Kyungsoo's making you breakfast."  
        "Where's Tao?"  
        "Sleeping," Sehun mumbled.  
        "Where's Minseok?"  
        "Gym," Baekhyun said from the floor.  
        "Morning, Ma." Kyungsoo came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on his trousers, Jongin following close behind. "Food's in the kitchen, if you want any."  
        Junmyeon nodded.  
        Something on the couch caught his eye. A white, cottony patch amidst all the red upholstery.  
        "Kids, why is there a hole in our couch?"


	2. Bedtime Mom #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Junma getting his children to go to sleep. 
> 
> He’d have to confiscate Sehun’s bubble tea stash because the entire dorm fridge is now full of bubble tea. Also because Sehun has been asking Junma to accompany him to the toilet somewhere between 5 to 10 times in the middle of the night.

Junmyeon yawned and waddled to the kitchen to heat up his before-bed glass of milk.  
        As he opened the fridge, something fell out that Junmyeon fumbled to catch. It slipped from his fingers nonetheless, and milk tea and pearls exploded all over the kitchen floor.  
        "Oh Sehun!" Junmyeon groaned.  
        "Yeah, Ma?" Sehun poked his head into the kitchen. "'sup?"  
        Junmyeon pointed at the slippery floor. "Help me clean this up, will you?" Then he gestured at the open fridge, lined top to bottom with bubble tea. "This can't go on. It's ridiculous."  
        "Calm down, Mom," Sehun grumbled, reluctantly grabbing a mop from the cupboard. "It's not that bad."  
        "Sehun, this is your last chance to clean this out and put it somewhere less public. Also, this is your last chance to not drink so much as to have to go to the bathroom seven times a night, and wake me up to go with you because you think there's gonna be a dead body in the bathtub." Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair and brought out a carton of milk from the fridge.  
        "Who knows? There could be a dead body someday, you never know."  
        "Last. Chance," Junmyeon reiterated.  
        Sehun rolled his eyes.  
  
"Ma...Ma."  
        "Hn..." Junmyeon turned in bed.  
        "Ma, get up. I have to pee."  
        "Sehun?" he asked groggily.  
        "Yes, Ma. Come on, I really gotta go."  
        "No... Last chance."  
        "Ma!" Sehun gave a harsh tug to Junmyeon's arm.  
        "Ow!"  
        "Oh, good, you're up. Let's go."  
        "Ugh."  
  
"Ma..."  
        "Not again..."  
        "Yes, I gotta pee, now."  
  
"Yo, Ma."  
        "Sehun, I locked my door. How did you get in here?"  
        "Kyungsoo picked it."  
        "Why didn't you just have Kyungsoo go with you?"  
  
"Mama."  
        "Sehun."  
        "I need to go."  
        "I need to sleep."  
        "Let's go, Ma."  
  
Out of the six hours Junmyeon slept, he was woken six times.  
        Of the eight hours Sehun rested, he woke up eight times. Twice Junmyeon was still awake.  
  
A night later, Junmyeon yawned and hobbled to the kitchen to fill up his milk glass.  
        As he opened the fridge, a cup of bubble tea tumbled out and splashed over the floor.  
         _"OH SEHUN!"_  
        "Shit. Sorry, Ma."


	3. Bedtime Mom #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Junma getting his children to go to sleep.
> 
> He'd have to put Minseok's phone on flight mode, followed by blocking Luhan's number because of the 152 missed calls Luhan made today. He'd also have to confiscate Minseok's fifth cup of coffee, but downing the cup of coffee himself because "he'll probably need it".

Minseok sighed as he set his phone on the living room coffee table, watching it blink on and off from text messages. "Luhan..." Minseok rubbed his temples and groaned, almost feeling the veins bulging.  _I love that boy, but his texts are getting out of hand—_  
        "Kim Minseok!"  
        "Aish..."  
        Junmyeon came stomping into the living room, home phone in his viselike grasp. The phone rang, and Junmyeon's thumb jabbed the end call button. "Can't you just give him a call? Text him? Tell him to stop!"  
        _—and he's getting me in trouble..._  Minseok shifted on the couch. "Sorry, I tried." He lifted his coffee cup to his lips.  
        It was snatched away by Junmyeon. "No!" he scolded. "That's your fifth cup! Look at you!" Junmyeon waved the hand with the phone wildly. "You've got dark circles under your eyes and you look so pale. Go to sleep."  
        Minseok shrugged and held up his phone, which was still blinking.  
        "I'll take that too." Junmyeon stuck the home phone under his arm and took the cellphone from Minseok. "Go. Night. Goodbye."  
        Minseok waved weakly and trudged off to his room.  
        Junmyeon sighed and set Minseok's phone to flight mode, then powered it off just to be safe. He also dialed the phone company, asking them to block Luhan's cell number from calling the dorm. "Alright." Junmyeon ran a hand through his hair. "That should do it." The phone rang. Junmyeon frowned at the unfamiliar number. He accepted the call. "Hello?"  
        "Minseok? Minnie, is that you?"  
        Junmyeon damn near screamed as he punched the end call button.  _Ah yes, a celebrity of many phones.._. Junmyeon glanced at the coffee cup in his hand. "Dammit." He brought it to his lips and downed the thing in a matter of seconds, finishing just as the phone rang again. "I'm gonna need that," he said to himself. "It's gonna be a long night."


	4. Bedtime Mom #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine Junma getting his children to go to sleep.
> 
> He'd have to rub all of Tao's injuries with medicated oil. Tao whines about being in pain. Junma would fluff Tao's hair and give Tao a tight hug in response.
> 
> "You'll be okay, Junma is here."

"Ma, I'm going to bed."  
        "Oh, okay!" Junmyeon sets his novel down and jumps to his feet. "Go get your medication, Tao. I'll help you apply it."  
        Tao nodded and gave his mother-figure a grudging smile.  
        Junmyeon bookmarks his book and hops off to Tao's room as the young man exits the bathroom, tub of medicated oil in hand. Tao sits down on the bed and hands the tub to Junmyeon, who unscrews it and and anoints his fingers with the oil.  
        Tao turns his back on Junmyeon and pulls up the hem of his shirt. Junmyeon massages his hands into Tao's back, careful not to be to rough, especially around the waist. Then Tao rolls up his sweatpants up to his knees, and Junmyeon rubs Tao's knees gently, then worked the ointment into his calves, and finally gave his ankle a firm pat, earning a soft hiss from Tao.  
        "Thanks, Ma," he murmurs, tugging at his blankets.  
        "Mm hmm," Junmyeon hums, recapping the tub and going to wash his hands in the bathroom. When he comes back, Tao's eyes are bleary, a little tear-soaked, a little red around the edges, and Junmyeon knows what Tao will say before he says it.  
        "It hurts." Tao grips his arms. "All over."  
         _And I hurt when you're hurt.._. Junmyeon pads silently to the bedside and pulls Tao's lean form into a tight but tender hug. "You'll be okay, Junma is here."  
        This elicits a soft giggle from Tao. "Junma, huh?"  
        "Yeah..." Junmyeon rubs circles into Tao's back. "I'll always be here to take care of you."  
  
 _"And you'll always be here for me to take care of." Right?_

**Author's Note:**

> all imagines belong to imaginekimjunmyeon.tumblr.com unless otherwise stated


End file.
